ANECDOTE COMPETITION.
 
 
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Some of Sir Wilfrid LAWSON's tenants in Cumberland were being entertained  
one day at dinner. Naturally, when one bears in mind the strong temperance  
views which Sir Wilfrid is known to hold, no spiritous liquor appeared on  the 
table. There were instead aerated waters, lemonade, ginger beer, and milk  for 
such as liked them.
 
One of the farmers who knew by experience what to expect, had provided  
himself with a flask of rum, and, unknown to a brother farmer who sat next to  him, 
he poured a generous quantity into the glass of milk which his neighbour  had 
elected to drink. In due time the unsuspecting farmer put the glass to his  
lips, and seemed to enjoy it so that he never stopped till he had finished it.  
Then he turned to his friend and remarked,
 
"Heck! mon Tummas, what a coo!"
 
J. WILSON,
46, Newtown, Whitehaven.
 
 
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A school master in a village not far from Moor Row was so enthusiastic  over 
politics that he began to give lessons on them in his class. He did not get  
on very well at first, but at length the scholars began to have a tolerable 
idea  of politics.
 
"Now Johnnie," asked the school master in the course of one lecture, "would  
you rather have a republican or the present form of Government?"
 
"The present form of Government," replied Johnnie.
 
"Why would you rather have the present form of Government?" 
 
"Because I wadna get  a holiday on the Queen's Jubilee if it was a  Repbulic."
 
Willie LANCASTER
20, Church-street, Moor Row.
 
 
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