John BRIGHT Print E-mail
       THE PROTECTORATE OF JOHN BRIGHT.
                                 ~~~~~~~~~

   [From a forthcoming volume of Macaulay's History.]

It is not necessary to recapitulate the proceedings of that monster meeting
at Birmingham where John BRIGHT had been chosen, by the unanimous suffrages
of the nation, Lord Protector of Great Britain and Ireland.  The QUEEN and
her family were gone to Australia where she was received with enormous
enthusiasm. The House of Lords was abolished.  The bishops had been
summarily sent out of the country, being stigmatised as a evil and
adulterous generation.  The cathedrals and churches were thrown open to all
who wanted to talk.
    The Lord Protector, having assumed the style and title of JOHN the
FIRST, took possession of the royal palaces, and appropriated that part of
the Westminster edifice in which the peers formerly met, as offices for the
'Morning Star' newspaper.
    In the columns of that remarkable periodical may be found the best
personal description of Englands second Dictator.  He is supposed to have
written it hemself, sitting before a large mirror.  He was a consummate
orator.  His voice was the mellowest and strongest in Europe.  His smile was
as sweet as that whch dimples the enchanting features of a beauty of
eighteen.  His scorn was superb.  There was lightning in the glance of his
eagle eye, and gold in the pockets of his tweed trousers.
    The government of this great man was founded on the principles of peace
and equality.  If a man quarrelled with his wife, he was hanged.  If he
whipped his children, he was transported.  If he attempted to show himself
superior to others by speaking grammatical English, he was condemned to
penal servitude.
    There was no fleet.There was  no army.  There were no silver spoons.  It
is lamentable that such a system of government was not permitted to endure,
and furnish a noble example to other nations.  Its abrupt termination was
due to the criminal ambition of the Emperor of the French.
    That potentate landed one hundred thousand men at Brighton, having
previously entered into an arrangement with the directors of the railway
company for their conveyance to town.

    The Lord Protector was at the palace at Westminster, correcting a proof,
attended by the editor of the 'Morning Star', when one of his court, named
Timothy TREACLE, entered the chamber.
    Timothy had seen the French at the London Bridge terminus, and had
brought the intelligence early, by the expenditure of a penny on one of the
river steamers.  The Lord Protector, filled with an heroic spirit, and true
to his principles, exclaimed that he would neither fight nor fly, but would
give up his life for his country.  The editor issued immediate orders for a
second edition with the intelligence.
    Timothy concealed himself in a chimney, where he was accidentally
roasted.  But the compositors, and pressmen, and printers' devils, arming
themselves composing sticks and other weapons, forgot the laws of the
republic, and went out to fight the French.

It is even rumoured that, one of them, who had received a pious education,
and should therefore, have known better, was heard to exclaim, " Hooray !
Selah !  Who's afraid ? Down with the Quakers ! "

-'Consitutional Press.'-
 
< Prev   Next >