- Transcribed by Barb Baker Barb Baker
- Edition: July 14, 1888 July 14, 1888
Early to bed and early to rise make a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
A good surgeon must have an eagle's eye, a lion's heart, and a lady's hand.
Few would believe how far a little health, well managed, may be made to go.
What we have been longest used to, is most likely to agree with us the best.
At a crowded theatre, a woman fell from the gallery into the pit, and was picked up by one of the spectators, who, hearing her groaning, asked her if she was much injured. "Much injured !" exclaimed the woman: "I should think I am; I have lost the best seat in the middle of the first row. !
A vagabond-looking fellow, but with some wit, nevertheless, was brought before a magistrate at Stourbridge on one occasion on the charge of stealing turnips. After making some droll remark, he was asked by the magistrate, "But didn't you take the turnips found in your pocket?' Prisoner: "I, your Worship ! Certainly not. I went to sleep in the field amongst the turnips, and the three found in my pockets grew into them while I lay, the heat of my body causing them to spring up faster than ordinary.
I, steal turnips, your Worship ! I'd scorn the action.
Hunger and thirst scarcely kill any, but gluttony and drink kill a great many.
The wise for cure on exercise depend; God never made His work for man to mend.
Drinking water neither makes a man sick, not in debt, nor his wife a widow.
The marriage of Mr. Charles ADEANE and Miss WYNDHAM, daughter of HON. PERCY WYNDHAM, is fixed to place early in July.
Three privates of the 2nd Battalion of the Welsh Regiment were sentenced at Cork on Friday to twelve months' hard labour for burglary at a jeweller's establishment.
The perennial jokes about the proof-reader seem to be on the decline since one of these much-abused geniuses shot and killed an editor in New Zealand for "cussing" him. Then he got more satisfaction by mangling the obituary and making circumstances alter case"read "circus horses at the races"