"SCREAPINS."

Did iver ennybody see sec wedder befoor as we've hed this last day or two in t' middle l' July.  It's been summat terrabel; its aneuf ta mak a fella jump up an' niver cum doon agean.  It's that changeable ya niver naws wat ta due for t' best; it dusn't matter hoo breet t' sun's shinin', if ye gaa widoot a top cwot an' umbreler ye'll be sartain ta git wet till t' skin.  An' if ye put a cwot on, an' muffle yorsel' up weel it'll mebbe nut rain, an ye'll be aboot swelter't ta death.

Thear may be a scarcity o' watter aboot t' boddom o' t' toon, bit thear seems to be a fairish gud stock on hand up abeun, judgin' fra t' share 'at we've hed t' foor end o' t' week.

Ah see t' Judge at t' Sizes sed he hed niver been up Skidda'.  If he hed been wid me an' a lock mair feuls last Tuesday, he wad hev been varra apt ta say 'at he didn't want to be owder.  It leuk't a decent swort of a mornin', seah three or fower of us 'at hed now't much on hand thowt we wad gaa till Kessick for t' day.  Wen we gat till Kessick t' top o' Skidda' leuk't that clear, an' aw roond leuk't that breet, we thowt we wad clim Skidda' an' hev a gud leuk at country, seah off we set.

Well look ye we hedn't gitten much mair nor hoaf way up wen t' rain startit ta cum doon, and' it fairly did cum doon anaw.  Ah niver saw owt like it' ivery drop was a big as a fella's heed; an' befoor we new woar we war we war like a lot o' drooned rats.

Aye we war awiver, in varra laal mair nor neah time we war wet till skin.  Yan o' my mates sed he was wet farder nor t' skin'; he swoar doon 'at he could feel t' watter runnin' inside of him.  Ah tel't him ta keephis mooth shut, an' than it cudn't git in him.  Tom (that's his neame) was gaily made at this; ye see he hes a tremendus big mooth, an' he dusn't like ta be tel't al'bot it.  If ye want to mak him mad yea've got nowt ta due bit tell him 'at wen he weshes his feace he sud oppen his mooth to seave seap becos he won't hev seah much to wesh, an' he'll be fair ragin'.

Bit Ah mun git on wid me teal.

Well, we saw plainly 'at thear was neah udder way for us bit gaan back till Kessick agean, seah we startit gaan doon t' fell a'de agean best we cud, an' bonny lookin pistels we war anaw.  Watter was runnin' doon oor britches intill oor shoos, an ivvery step we tuk it was spurtin' oot of oor shoo tops like laal foontens.  Aye, sed Tom, if we cud oanly tak aw this watter till Wurkiton wid us we was mak oor fortans.  Ah dooan't naw aboot that, sis Ah; it strikes me 'at we're gaan ta carry ower much back wid us.

Well efter a gud bit o' bodder an' a gud lock o'sweerin' we gat back till Kessick Stashun, oanly ta finnd 'at we hed two hoors ta wait befoor we cud git a grain heame.  Seah we went doon till oald Mistriss Shearman's an gat summat ta warm us., an we hed just gitten nicely warm't wen we hed ta leeve for t' train.

It was eight o'clock befoor Ah gat heame, an Ah gat a sup o' rummead nice an' hot an a bit o' butter an' a lock of suggar in it, an bundled mesel' off ta bed, an' t' last thing Ah can remember Ah was coan Skidda aw t' bac neames Ah cud think on, an' takkin' me oath 'at Ah wad nivver gaa till Kessick agean till Ah hed a guarantee 'at t' wedder wad keep fine for meh.

Ah gat tel't 'at thear was lots o' snaw on t' top o' Skidda last Wednesday, an' t' chap 'at telt meh sed 'at he hed been in t' Lake District abeun forty 'ears an' it was't furst time he hed seen snaw on t' top o' Skidda' on t' 11th o'' July.  It's a wunder at t' snaw's gitten thear widoot t' Yankees help isn't it ?  Ah think "canny auld Cummerlan's dun them this time.

As far as Ah can see Cummerlan' an' Cummerlan' fellas is fit ta deu a gud lock o'fwork.  Ah mind reedin' yance about an oald chap 'at went fra Cockermuth till Lunnon, an yah day wen he was hevin' a bit woak, he went intill a varra big shop an' as't a masher swoart of a chap 'at he saw a-back o' t' coonter, wat they selt thear.  T' masher gurned his feace at him a bit, an' than he sed, "Donkeys".  Aye, an a varra gud seale yea've hed anaw,' sed t' oald chap.  Ah see they've aw gitten selt bit thesel'.  That was yan for Cockermuth, wasn't it ?

"PICKUP."

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