UNCLE SAM'S EXCELSIOR BAND OF BOYS AND GIRLS IN WEST CUMBERLAND.
 
  The following is the list of the comrades enrolled in the Excelsior Band:--
 
  WHITEHAVEN
 
  R. DENT, 76, Duke-street.
  M. BEWICK, 16, Sandhills-lane.
  M J LUNDY, 10, Peter-street.
  M HESLOP, 9, Edgehill-terrace.
  S LUNDY, 10, Peter-street.
  ?. SHERWEN, 14, Addison-street.
  M A WILLIAMSON, 64, Duke-street.
  A J BEWICK, 16, Sandhills-land.
  Jos.GILL, 6, Carmichael-street.
   A THOMPSON, 13, Corkickle.
  Jos. BURNS, 12, Sandhills-land.
  W W PEARSON, Victoria-road.
  A H BRAKENRIDGE, 1, Mosswell-terrace.
  E J McDONALD, Brackenthwaite.
  L JOHNSTON, Brackenthwaite.
  D THOMPSON, 29, Scotch-street.
  John MARTIN, 69, Peter-street.
  Frank CLARE, 1, Webster's-place, Marlbro'-street.
  Stewart SHIELDS, 22, Roper-street.
  Ed.HARTLEY, 20, High-street.
  J J McKAE, 4, Senhouse-street.
  Jos W THOMPSON, 13, Corkickle.
  J DUNLOP, North Wall House.
  Johyn GILL, 6, Carmichael-street.
  L PORTER, 7, Tangier-street
  M E FERGUSON, 8, Sandhills-lane.
  Dora WILSON, 8, Addison-street.
  H CURPHY,  11, Schoolhouse-lane.
  S A NICHOLSON, 4, Wellington-row.
  A FREARS, 36, New-street.
  Ethel ROBINSON, 1, Aviary-street.
  Daisy HAMPTON, 46, Duke-street.
  Agnes BEWLEY, 21, Foxhouses-road.
  Evelyn  SKELTON, 152, Queen-street.
  J EWBANK, Granary-yard.
  James DAVIDSON, 9, Market-place.
  Mary A CHARLETON, 3, Catherine's-place, West strand.
  B H NICHOLSON, 4, Wellington-place.
  Joseph BEWLEY, 21, Foshouses-road.
  Florence Mary HUSTWAITE, 5, York-terrace, Sunny Hill.
  Margaret J CONNERS, 14, Arrowthwaite.
  Edward McALLISTER, 102, Middle-row, Newhouses.
  Alice WILSON, 10, Lucknow Villa, Coach-road.
  Betsy WILSON, 10, Lucknow Villa, Coach-road.
  Daniel Smith WALKER, Rottington.
  Annie M FERGUSON, 25, Roper-street.
  Lena WILSON, 9, Cross-street.
  John ELAND,16, Plumblands-land.
  Florence SHILLITO, 36, Roper-street.
  Maggie SIMPSON, 19,  Queen-street.
  Wm KELLY, North Wall House.
  Emma BARKER, Whitehaven Castle.
  Daniel S WALKER, Rottington.
  R A LINTON, Albion HOTEL.
  Herbert SHILLITO, Ropoer-street.
  Margaret CASSON, Sandwith.
  H CURPHY, 11, Schoolhouse-lane.
  S A NICHOLSON, 4, Wellington-row.
  A FREARS, 36, New-street.
  Ethel ROBINSON, 1, Aviary-street.
  Daisy HAMPTON, 46, Duke-street.
  Agnes BEWLEY, 21, Foxhouses-road.
  Evelyn SKELTON, 152, Queen-street.
  J EWBANK, Granary-yard.
  James DAVIDSON, 9, Market-place.
  Mary A CHARLETON, 3, Catherine's-place, West Strand.
  B H NICHOLSON, 4, Wellington-place.
  Joseph BEWLEY, 21, Foxhouses-road.
  Florence Mary HUSTWAITE, 5, York-terrace, Sunny Hill.
  Margaret J CONNERS, 14, Arrowthwaite.
  Edward McALLISTER,  102, Middle-row, Newhouses.
  Alice WILSON, 10, Lucknow Villa, Coach-road.
  Betsy WILSON, 10, Lucknow Villa, Coach-road.
  Daniel Smith WALKER, Rottington.
  Annie M FERGUSON, 25, Roper-street.
  Lena WILSON, 9, Cross-street.
  John ELAND, 16, Plumblands-lane.
  Florence SHILLITO, 36, Roper-street.
  Maggie SIMPSON, 19, .Queen-street.
  Wm KELLY, North Wall House.
  Emma BARKER,  Whitehaven Castle.
  Daniel S WALKER, Rottington.
  R A LINTON, Albion Hotel.
  Herbert SHILLITO, Roper-street.
  Margaret CASSON, Sandwith.

HENSINGHAM

C COWAN, Rose Bank.
M WHITE, 20 Beckbottom.
Ethel M PATTINSON, Main-street.
Lizzie CREEGAN, Main-street.
William BARRIE, Main-street.
John DOUGLAS, Main-street.
Maggie PROUD, Main-street.
Andrew FINLAY, Main-street.
Charlotte PEEL, Main-street.
Mary McFARLANE, Main-street.
Sarah Jane CURRY, Main-street.
Mary Jane BETHWAITE, Bank's-lane.
J DOWNIE, Bank's-lane.
Sarah Anne HODGSON, Ribton Moor Side.
John R HODGSON, Ribton Moor Side.
Nicholas HADWIN, Ribton Moor Side.
Mary Ellen CALDER, Rose Bank.
Loftus ANDREWARTHS, Rose Bank.
John J EWING, Rose Bank.
Robert F NICHOL, Rose Bank.
James ELLWOOD, Rose Bank.
Christopher WRIGHT, Keekle Terrace.
W WRIGHT, Keekle Terrace.
Edward PARRY, 8, Holly-Terrace.
Herbert Sydney IRELAND, Schoolhouse.
Frederick Stanley IRELAND, Schoolhouse.
Edith Mary DOBIE, Hollins Lodge.
Annie WADE, Brook Bank.
Wm DOUGLAS, Low Hensingham.
William Henry STEPHENSON, Crown Hotel.
Thomas HORN, Lowther Aross Inn.
Robert H PORTHOUSE, 2, Selby-terrace.
Maggie TURNBULL, Grove Cottages.
Annie SLEE, New Monkwray.
John A MILLER, Main-street.
Frank THRELFELL, Low Hall.
Wm COWAN, Hollins Lodge.
George C E STRAITON, Rosebank.
John PATTINSON, Main-street.
Mary PEEL, The Square.
William COWAN, 5, Marine-terrace.
Lily S?ITT, Brookbank.
Isaac HERDMAN, Rosebank.
Sarah DOWNIE,  Bank's-lane.
J R EILBECK,  Rosebank.
Joseph DOBIE, Hollins Lodge.
Joseph RICHARDSON, Main-street.
Jane STRAITON, Rosebank.
Robert W SMITH, 5, Marine-terrace.
Eleanor BEATTY, Mirehouse.
Eleanor AIREY, Summergrove.
Mayson FEARON, Keekle Terrace.
Florence M IRELAND, Schoolhouse.
Eliza Maude IRELAND, Schoolhouse.
Joseph DICKINSON, High Row.
Thomas BURNS, Williamson's-terrace.
Richard Bryan IRELAND, School House.

MILLOM
Alice BLENKINSOPP, Police Station.
E E ATKINSON,  Salthouse-road.
J JACKSON, 3, Cambridge-terrace.
W J ATKINSON, 15, Salthouse-road.
H W JACKSON, Cambridge-terrace.
Ettie WILSON, Moor House.
Sarah Lizzie PORTER, 3, Moor Cottages.
Mary Eleanor STEELE, 11, Moor-terrace.
Mary Ellen PORTER, 3, Moor Cottages.

WORKINGTON
D SMITH, 39, Finkle-street.
Edith Annie HARTLEY, 24, Albert-street.
Jane SANDERSON, 18, High Church-street.

EGREMONT
A H GILBERTSON, 45, South-street.
J R GILBERTSON, 45, South-street.

SEASCALE
Albert TYSON, The Villas.
Joseph STEELE, Covness Bank.
Jane STEELE, Covness Bank.
J B ASHLEY, Railway-terrace.
Annie JEFFERY, Seascale.
Eleanor PEARSON, Seascale.
W CLEAVER, Seascale Smithy.
F M J TYSON, The Glen.
Mary CLEAVER, Seascale.
S S SHERWEN, The How.
H M WARWICK, The How.
W BATTERSBY, Railway-terrace.
R BRANTHWAITE, Stanley-villas.
T TRIPPIEAR, Seascale.
H LIGHTFOOT, Seascale.
J H WARWICK, The How.
Elizabeth PEARSON, Seascale.
J KINMARE, 3, Railway-terrace.
J T BRAITHWAITE, Scawfell Hotel.
Catherine LIGHTFOOT.
Millicent BRANTHWAITE.
May CLEAVER.
James REID.
Eliza TAYLOR.
Edward DICKSON.

GOSFORTH
John BIRNIE, Scot Hall.
W C HARTLEY, Gosforth Hall.
Benn HODGSON, New Mill

PONSONBY
Barbara TROUGHTON, Town End.
Lizzie ROBINSON, Old Hall.
Esther, TROUGHTON, Town End.
Sarah HAIL, Stanley Arms.
Annie Grace THOMAS, Camomile Cottage.
Annie HAIL, Westwood Cottage.
Hannah ROBINSON, Old Hall, Ponsonby.
Robert THOMAS,  Comomile Cottage.

RAVENGLASS
John IRWIN, Pennington Arms Hotel.
Harold IRWIN, Pennington Arms Hotel.

BECKERMET
Sarah Annie PORTER, Church Square.
Mary Ellen ROBINSON, Church Square.
Richard Wm SMITH.
Marion BROWN, East Croft.
Annie Bell ATKINSON, Sellafield Station.
Florence DIXON, Croft House.
Alice DICKINSON, Barwickstead Lodge.
Alice SMITH.
Sarah Annie ROBINSON, Beckermet.
Harold BROWN, East Croft.

HAILE
M YOWART, Haile School.


Membership tickets will be printed shortly, and supplied to the comrades.

PRINTED CERTIFICATES OF MERIT, suitable for framing, will be given in
deserving cases as Consolation Prizes.

The winner of the prize this week is Robert THOMAS, Camomile Cottage,
Ponsonby, who, on application, will obtain an order for goods to the value
of 2s. 6d. on any tradesman who has an advertisement in the
"Gazette."Application should be made at once.
The following not has been received from last week's prize winner:--
    Dear Uncle Sam, --- I was very please when I saw I had won the prize.
Please send an order for a mantlepiece clock. --- Thanking youvery much, I
remain, your loving niece, Esther TROUGHTON, Town End, Ponsonby.

Esther omits to say where the clock has to be obtained, and she also
enclosed four penny stamps which she should write and explain. UNCLE SAM.

Prize Winner: "THE PASTIME THAT IS MOST PROFITABLE TO ME IN THE SUMMER."

    Dear Uncle Sam,--- The most profitable pastime to me in summer is
watching my bees. I hope the weather will keep fine for me to transfer them
into another hive, when I will get some honey and advertise it in your
paper.--- I remain, your affectionate nephew, Tobert THOMAS, camomile
Cottage, Ponsonby.

    Dear Uncle Sam, --- The pastime that is most profitable to me in summer
is drawing and painting our little church. I sell them to visitors at a
cheap rate. With the money I made last season I am going to Cousin Charley's
festival at Cockermouth next Thursday. --- Your affectionate nephew, William
Henry GARLAND, Wasdale Head.

    Dear Uncle Sam, --- Fishing is the most profitable pastime to me. I can
get fit up with fishing tackle for 3?. The licence for trout and char is 2s.
6d., and I can get plenty of fish out of the Calder and the rivers in the
district. --- I remain, your loving nephew, Edward DICKSON, Scawfell House,
Seascale.

    Dear Uncle Sam, --- The pastime that is most profitable to me in the
summer is running errands for my mother to the shop and anywhere that she
may want me to go. I also do other small jobs for her, as she very often
gives me an orange or a penny for doing them --- From your loving niece,
Hannah HIRD, Hollinghow, Eskdale.

    Dear Uncle Sam, --- I think the pastime most profitable to me in summer
is learning my school work. It will help me in my future time, besides
helping me through any examination I have to pass. I hope all the other boys
and girls think the same as I do. --- I am, your loving nephew, Robert H
MYERS, 47, John-street, Moor Row.

    Dear Uncle Sam, --- The pastime that I think most profitable is to go
into the garden and weed the onions and lettuce, and water the cabbage
plants, and take up the new potatoes, so as we will have them all the year
round, as it is a nuisance to have them all to buy when you can have them of
your own with little trouble. --- I remain, your affectionate nephew, J B
SALKELD, The Hinnings, Distington.

    Dear Uncle Sam, --- My profitable pastime in summer is playing at
cricket, which helps to make me strong. When there has been no rain I go and
water the garden, which makes the seeds and plants grow. This is profitable,
because when the cabbages, onions, and other things grow up then we can eat
them. I also weed the garden; for, if the weeds grow on, they would soon
choke the other plants. --- Your affectionate nephew, Herbert S IRELAND,
School House, Hensingham.

List of Prize Winners who are debarred from competing for the present:---
Feb. 11th, 1897.--- Lizzie ROBINSON, Old Hall, Ponsonby.
Feb. 18th, 1897. ---Harold IRWIN, Pennington Arms Hotel, Ravenglass.
Feb. 25th, 1897. --- Mary E FERGUSON, 8, Sandhills-lane, Whitehaven.
March 4th. --- Florence DIXON, Croft House, Beckermet.
March 11th. --- John TYSON, Braithwaite, Seascale.
March 18th. --- Joseph HIRD, Holling How, Eskdale.
March 25th. --- Isaac BATEMAN, Wasdale Head.
April 1st. --- W H STEPHENSON,  Crown Hotel, Hensingham.
April 8th. --- Edward PARRY, 8, Holly-terrace, Hensingham.
April 15th. --- Margaret J CONNERS, Arrowthwaite, Whitehaven.
April 22nd. --- Marion E BROWN,  East Crofr, Beckermet.
April 29th. --- Esther TROUGHTON,  Town End, Ponsonby.
The winner of this week's prize is Robert THOMAS, Camomile Cottage,
Ponsonby.

The subject for competition this week is:
"GIVE THREE REASONS WHY THE QUEEN'S DIAMOND JUBILEE SHOULD BE CELEBRATED."

ANCDOTE COMPETITION

A Prize of Half-a-Crown is offered for the most amusing local PARAGRAPH,
INCIDENT, or ANECDOTE,
Sent in to reach the "Gazette" Office on Tuesday morning every week,.

The following note has been received from last week's prize winner:--
Dear Uncle Sam, -- I was highly pleased when I saw I had won the prize in
the anecdote competition. Please send me an order to W. COLLIS,
Lowther-street, Whitehaven.-- Thanking you very much, I remain, your
affectionate niece,  E PHIZACKLEA, The crossings, Drigg.

The order has been forwarded.

Prize Winner.--
A minister who lived not many miles from Frizington was very particular
about his parishioners speaking the truth. He once went on a visit to a poor
widow. The woman was busy washing, and when she heard the minister's
footsteps she hid behind the clothes horse. The minister knocked at the
door, which was opened by a little boy. "Where is your mother, my boy?"
asked the minister. "She has just gone on a message down the street," was
the answer. "Well,"said the minister, "tell her I called, and say the next
time she goes down the village she must not forget to take her feet with
her." W H STEPHENSON.

A Whitehaven joiner was once sent for into Queen-street to measure a corpse
and take orders for the coffin. Forgetting the number of the house, he
ventured to knock at the door of one on chance, and on an inmate appearing,
said:"If you please, is there a dead man lives here?"  Maggie ATKINSON.


Business conce led the late Will RITSON, of Wasdale Head, and his father
into Loweswater, and on arriving at the Church Stile Inn, refreshment was
found desirable. When the good things were set on the table Will helped
himself and proceeded to charge his father's glass, saying:'Thow mun say
when, fadder." Old John was silent, and Will filled the glass till it Began
to run over, saying:"Thow nivver said when, fadder." "Nea, Will, a lucky man
may mak his fort'n by hoddan his tongue." Hannah M WARWICK.

A little girl who attended a distribution of prizes given by the Society for
the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals had won a book as a reward for writing
the best essay on the given subject. "Well, my dear," said the gentleman who
had given away the prizes, "can you tell me why it is cruel to dock horses,
tails." "Because," answered the little girl,"what God has joined together
let no man put asunder." E PHIZACKLEA.

In a butcher's shop in Queen-street, Whitehaven, there were three sheep
heads lying on the counter, when an old woman came in and asked the price of
them separately. The butcher told her one was fourpence, another sixpence,
and the other eightpence. She said they were far too dear, but she would
give him 1s 8d for them all. The bargain was struck, and she went off with
her sheep heads.   Joseph BEWLEY.

In a train between St. Bees and Whitehaven a gentleman sitting by the door
made several attempts to go out. The people that were in the carriage
thought he was mad, and two or three of them made up their minds to stop
him. After they had him on the floor they asked him what he meant. When he
had sufficient breath he gasped out:"I was only trying to get the tail of my
coat loose from the door."  E PARRY.

Some young men travelling on bicycles on the highway near Whitehaven became
very thirsty, and stopped for milk at a house by the roadside. They drank
all that was offered and still wanted more. The woman of the house at length
brought out an enormous bowl of milk, and set it down on the table, saying,
"One would think, gentlemen, you had never been weaned."   John IRWIN.

Two Scotchmen were hewing in a colliery near Whitehaven recently, when a
piece of coal fell from the roof, knocking the cap from the bald head and
grazing the nose of one of them, and putting out both their lamps. "Oh mon,
Jock," said the injured man, as he felt the blood trickling down nis nose,
"I believe that lump of coal has knocked the skin off my nose." Jock,
reaching out his hand in the darkness, got his fingers on the hairless
scalp of his mate, which he mistook for his face. "Gudeness gracious,"
exclaimed the dumbfounded collier, feeling all over the bald crown of his
companion,"Yer nose is clean off your face, and I'm thinking yer mouth an'
een are gane as weel."   Daniel S WALKER.

A certain labourer, living in the vicinity of Distington, had a wife who
wasn't over fond of work. One day, when it had ceased raining, he ame in
about six o'clock, sumping wet and dog tired. "Oh, Tom," says the wife,
"Ah've nut been yebble to git any water for the rain." As yu have already
got wet you may as well go for a canful and I will make the tea." "To be
sure, I'll go" says Tom. When he returned with the can of water he emptied
it over his wife, saying, "Your about as wet as I is now, maybe you will get
some water yourself." And she did.    Esther TROUGHTON.

A good story is told of an industrious Irishman in a certain West Cumberland
town, who, after years of faithful service, was promoted to be foreman over
a number of working men under the same firm. Two or three days after his
promotion, he astonished his better half before going out in the morning
with the appeal:"Mary, brush me coat, I'm going to sack a man. It isn't that
I have anything again him, an', faix, I'll take him on again the morrow; but
it's just to let him see I've got the power an' am the foreman now, so brush
the coat."    Barbara TROUGHTON.