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A "PETTICOAT SOLDIER"  --  On Monday, at the Glasgow Central Police-court, ELLEN BROWN, a strapping young woman, residing in New Vennel, was charged with dressing herself in a soldier's uniform on Sunday, and parading the New Vennel, causing thereby a great deal of noise and confusion.
BAILIE:  Is that true, Ellen "
ELLEN:  Yes Sir.  I had on the uniform, but I had my own petticoats on inside. (Laughter).
SERGEANT:  Why did you apprehend this lad ?  (Laughter).
SERGEANT:  Because she was dressed in soldier's clothes.
BAILIE:  Is that all ?
SERGEANT:  A great number of laddies and lasses were shouting and laughing.
BAILIE:  But the woman herself made no row ?
THE ASSESSOR:  The wearing of soldier's clothes is not an offence, is it ?
CAPTAIN SMART:  Oh, yes, under the Mutiny Act.  (Laughter).
BAILIE:  Are you in the habit of putting on soldier's clothes, Ellen ?
ELLEN:  No sir:  I only did it as a lark.  The soldiers - the other lassies' fellows (laughter) - who come to the house said they would give me half a munchkin if I would put them on and go down the Vennel.  (Renewed laughter)
BAILIE:  Well, you see what your lark has brought you to.  Go away, and be careful for the future.
ELLEN:  Thank you, sir.